The other day on my way to work I was following a black car. I saw a tiny squirrel dart in front of the car from the corner of my eye... it took my breath away. The squirrel ran right under his car, I watched as my heart stopped beating. He was softly flung out behind the car, and rolled. The car kept going, but I immediately pulled over, hazards on, frantic. I ran to the squirrel. His eyes were open and he was shaking, liquid by his mouth on the pavement. I don’t know if he saw me in those last moments, or if he was dead on impact, but with the small towel I had from my trunk, I held him. I felt the shaking stop, I felt the life leave his body as I moved him to the side of the road.
For some reason, this death hit me significantly hard. I didn’t go to work, I went home. I cried, the pain I felt was heavy and powerful.
That was over a week ago and I still find myself stung by a deep pain in the core of my soul, for this little soul. I think about him often.
Through the pain I have come to a sort of enlightenment that I have not been able to reach through my practice or meditation as hard as I try.
I truly believe we are all the same soul, living one at a time - consciousness as a collective being, expressed through multiple bodies simultaneously. Learning and growing from our interactions with Self and the environment.
When I saw that squirrel I saw myself. I saw suffering. I saw unfair truths in a world so harsh and dangerous. I saw compassion, burning in my heart. I saw sadness. I saw life ripped from the earth. I saw love in raw form. A true love, that will never leave me.
In those short moments on the side of the road, with this tiny young squirrel, not even a year old, I felt more than weeks of human interaction could supply me with. Through the pain I was connected. Through the pain I have found something.
I don’t know what it is that I have found, but I will carry it with me. I will carry this tiny soul within me.
Rest easy, little one. You’re in my heart.
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